Saturday, January 7, 2017

Schlock Treatment (2006-2011)


SCHLOCK TREATMENT (2006-2011)


From December 2006 to 2011 I introduced public domain drive-in and B-grade genre movies on Friday, Saturday or Sunday nights, on Brisbane's Channel 31 community TV station. I inherited Schlock Treatment from its former hosts who had left the station under a dark cloud. I was determined to save the program from the usual creaky Creature Features and bring my encyclopedic nerd-dom to the introductions. Our new mantra became “from B-Grade to Z-Grade classics and anti-classics, from sci fi, horror and kung fu flicks to dwarfsploitation and Christian gore movies...” I was the so-called Evil Brain who programmed the films, wrote the introductions and performed them to camera (usually from behind the Trash Video counter, unless I was sick or the shop had closed down!), and future Briz 31 head programmer Scott Black filmed and edited each segment. In retrospect it was an enormous amount of work – around four hours prep for each movie, and we played hundreds of them – for very little visible reward.




Still, it was a free weekly advert for the shop, and produced a small mountain of written reviews by yours truly, and even if Scott and I don’t speak any more, it was a most rewarding partnership while it lasted. I’m also proud of the fact that our July 2007 broadcast of For Y’ur Height Only is still the single highest rating show on Briz 31 EVER with over 150,000 viewers that evening; those Weng Weng intros – click on the Youtube links to For Y’ur Height Only, The Impossible Kid and D’Wild Wild Weng Parts One and Two - were later edited together to create “The Weng Weng Story” for the German DVD release of For Y’ur Height Only. People still quote their favourite episodes to me to this day, so I guess we made our boring little capital city that little bit more interesting.

 
SEASON ONE: December 2006 to September 2008. The Golden Years of Schlock Treatment, each week a unique double or triple bill.

SEASON TWO: November 2009 to January 2010. Stocking filler for Briz 31’s Christmas 2009 program, revamped to single movies (which thankfully meant less work for all concerned!).

SEASON THREE: May to December 2010. Program-wise my favourite period – the shop was slowly going under and the show no longer worked as an advertorial, so I had no-one to please other than myself. Thus the choice of movies became so eclectic and a reflection of my divergent tastes, I can’t imagine we had too many viewers by the end of our relatively short run. Self-sabotage? Falling too far down the filmic rabbit hole? Yes, but why the hell not.

SEASON FOUR: May 2011. Just four episodes only, the start of Scott Black’s idea for single month blocks of Schlock Treatment, with intros filmed at Briz 31 studios. I think we both knew it was the end of the show; Trash Video had closed the previous year, I was sinking into a black hole at the time, and Scott was more concerned with his own Briz 31 talk show. We talked about a Season Five for Christmas 2011 and I even wrote the first four introductions, but we had a massive falling out, and it was finally Schlock Treatment RIP.

APOCALYPSE MAO: In late 2007 Scott and I also shot over a single mad day a total of five 60 second Trash Video commercials (one of which was never edited) which screened between Schlock Treatment a number of times over the following year. Each advert was a parody of Jean-Luc Godard and films by the French Situationists, filmed in black and white and in French with English subtitles. To this day I wonder about the lost opportunity to genuinely promote my business - WHAT WAS I THINKING??? Scott edited the four clips into a single short called “Apocalypse Mao, Or The Revolution Will Not Be Available On DVD”, which screened in public once at Schlockfest in Brisbane in late 2007. Please click for the Youtube links:







 
SEASON ONE

22/12/06: Santa Claus (1959) / Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)


29/12/06: Carnival Of Souls (1962) / Lisa And The Devil (Mario Bava, 1973)

05/01/07: The Fast And The Furious (1954) / The Wild Ride (1960)


12/01/07: Assassin Of Youth (1937) / Marijuana The Weed With Roots In Hell (1936) / Reefer Madness (1936)


19/01/07: First Spaceship On Venus (1960) / Assignment: Outer Space (1960)


26/01/07: A Bullet For The General (1967) / Boot Hill (1969)

02/02/07: Duel Of The Iron Fist (1971) / Ninja The Protector (1986)


09/02/07: Nosferatu (1922) / Fangs Of The Living Dead (1968)


16/02/07: Horrors Of Spider Island (1960) / King Of Kong Island (1968)


23/02/07: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) / The Atomic Brain (1964) / The Amazing Transparent Man (1960)


02/03/07: The Street Fighter (Sonny Chiba, 1974) / Champ Against Champ (Dragon Lee, 1983)


09/03/07: I Walked With A Zombie (1943) / Night Of The Living Dead (1968) / White Zombie (1932)


16/03/07: Incubus (William Shatner, 1965) / Hercules Goes Bananas (Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1970)


23/03/07: A Town Called Bastard (1971) / Five For Hell (1968)


30/03/07: Return Of The Street Fighter (Sonny Chiba, 1974) / The Dragon Lives Again (1977)

06/04/07: The Giant Of Metropolis (1961) / The Last Days Of Pompeii (1959)


13/04/07: The Brain Eaters (1958) / The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962) / The Brain From Planet Arous (1957)


20/04/07: Blood Creature (Philippines, 1959) / Cry Of The Bewitched (Mexico, 1957)


27/04/07: Sister Street Fighter (1974) / TNT Jackson (1974)

04/05/07: Nightmare Castle (1965) / Lady Frankenstein (1971)


11/05/07: Texas Adios (1966) / Keoma (1976)


18/05/07: The Astounding She-Monster (1957) / The Wasp Woman (1960) / Cat-Women Of The Moon (1953)


25/05/07: The Street Fighter's Last Revenge (1974) / The Good The Bad And The Loser (1976)

02/06/07: Gamera (1965) / Warning From Space (1956)


09/06/07: The Blood Drinkers (1964) / Brides Of Blood (1968)


16/06/07: Detour (1945) / The Godfather Squad (1974)


23/06/07: Freaks (1932) / The Terror Of Tiny Town (1938) / Chained For Life (1951)


30/06/07: Destroy All Planets (1968) / The X From Outer Space (1967)

07/07/07: A Bullet For Sandoval (1969) / The Battle Of The Last Panzer (1969)


14/07/07: Fall Of The House Of Usher (1960) / The Last Man On Earth (1964)


21/07/07: WENG WENG in For Y'ur Height Only (1981) / Mad Doctor Of Blood Island (1968)


28/07/07: WENG WENG in The Impossible Kid (1981) / Beast Of Blood (1969)

03/08/07: Run Man Run (1968) / Four Of The Apocalypse (Lucuo Fulci, 1975)


10/08/07: Battle Of The Worlds (1961) / The Galaxy Invader (1985)


17/08/07: Bruce Lee Fights Back From The Grave (1976) / Clones Of Bruce Lee (1977)


24/08/07: Shriek Of The Mutilated (1974) / Claw Of Terror (1973)


31/08/07: Torture Chamber Of Dr Sadism (1967) / Bloody Pit Of Horror (1965)

07/09/07: Curse Of The Vampires (1966) / WENG WENG in D'Wild Wild Weng (1982)


14/09/07: A Bucket Of Blood (1959) / The Little Shop Of Horrors (1960)


21/09/07: ARCH HALL JR's Wild Guitar (1962) / The Sadist (1963)


28/09/07: Werewolf In A Girl's Dormitory (1961) / The Beast Of The Yellow Night (1971)

05/10/07: ARCH HALL Jr's Eegah! (1962) / Nasty Rabbit (1964)


12/10/07: Santo In The Wax Museum (1963) / Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Ape (1962) / Curse Of The Aztec Mummy (1958)


19/10/07: They Call Me Trinity (1970) / My Name Is Nobody (1974)


26/10/07: Blood Thirst (1971) / Tombs Of The Blind Dead (1971) / Horror Of The Zombies (1974)

02/11/07: ED WOOD Jr's Bride Of The Monster (1955) / Jailbait (1954) / The Bride And The Beast (1958)


09/11/07: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies (Ray Dennis Steckler, 1963) / The Eye Creatures (Larry Buchanan, 1965) / The Choppers (Arch Hall Jr, 1961)


16/11/07: ED WOOD Jr's Plan 9 From Outer Space (1956) / Night Of The Ghouls (1959) / The Violent Years (1956)


23/11/07: The Thrill Killers (Ray Dennis Steckler, 1964) / Zontar The Thing From Venus (Larry Buchanan, 1966) / Deadwood '76 (Arch Hall Jr, 1965)


30/11/07: ED WOOD Jr's Glen Or Glenda (1953) / The Sinister Urge (1960) / Orgy Of The Dead (1965)

07/12/07: Santo vs The Vampire Women (1962) / Santo vs The Zombies (1961)


14/12/07: Trinity Is Still My Name (1971) / It Can Be Done Amigo (1972)


21/12/07: Little Red Riding Hood And The Monsters (Mexico, 1962) / If The Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do? (Baptist gore from Ron Ormond, 1971) / The Burning Hell (more crazed Ormond, 1974)


28/12/07: Robot Monster (1953) / They Saved Hitler's Brain (1963) / The Beast Of Yucca Flats (1961)

04/01/08: Santo In The Vengeance Of The Mummy (1971) / Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Mummy (1964)


11/01/08: JESS FRANCO's The Secret Of Dr Orloff (1964) / Attack Of The Robots (1966)


18/01/08: Cavalry Command (1957) / The Walls Of Hell (1964)


25/01/08: Sonny Chiba's Dragon Princess (1981) / Devil's Express (1976)

01/02/08: DUSK TILL DAWN MARATHON!


08/02/08: Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957) / The Terror (1963)


15/02/08: Santo In The Treasure Of Dracula (1968) / The Vampire (1957)


22/02/08: SEX EDUCATION Spectacular! Tomorrow's Children (1934) / Pick-Up (1944) / VD Every 30 Seconds (1974) / Girls Beware & Boys Beware (1961) / It's Wonderful Being A Girl (1966)


29/02/08: The Rebel Rousers (1967) / Acapulco Gold (1973)

07/03/08: Crypt Of Horror (1964) / Curse Of The Devil (1973)


14/03/08: Santo vs The Martian Invasion (1967) / The Brainiac (1961)


21/03/08: WAR ON DRUGSPLOITATION! Drugs Are Like That (1970) / The Terrible Truth (1951) / LSD 25 (1967) / Narcotics: Pit Of Despair (1967) / Beat Girl (1960)


28/03/08: FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA's Dementia 13 (1963) / Battle Beyond The Sun (1963)

04/04/08: BAD KUNG FU DOUBLE Force Four (1975)/Sonny Chiba: The Bodyguard (1976)


11/04/08: MEXICAN MADNESS DOUBLE Santo vs Dr Death (1973) / The Curse Of Nostradamus (1961)


18/04/08: JACK NICHOLSON IN THE PHILIPPINES DOUBLE Flight To Fury (1964) / Back Door To Hell (1964)


25/04/08: POP CULTURE GONE TROPPO DOUBLE The Wild World Of Batwoman (1966) / The Turkish Star Wars (1982)

02/05/08: YOUNG DENNIS HOPPER DOUBLE! Night Tide (1961) / Queen Of Blood (1966)


09/05/08: MORE MEXICAN MADNESS! Neutron vs The Death Robots (1962) / The Living Head (1963)


16/05/08: Maniac (1934) / Sex Madness (1938) / She Shoulda Said No! (1949)


23/05/08: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1966) / Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster (1965)


30/05/08: MAD BAD KUNG FU! Bruce Lee vs Supermen (1975) / Swordsman With An Umbrella (1970)

06/06/08 to 04/07/08: BEST OF SCHLOCK TREATMENT



11/07/08: Rat Pfink A Boo Boo (1966) / The Curse Of The Living Corpse (1964)


18/07/08: Santo And Blue Demon vs Dracula And The Wolf Man (1972) / Santo Attacks The Witches (1964)


25/07/08: The Horrors Of Party Beach (1964) / The Lemon Grove Kids Meet The Monsters (1965/69)

02/08/08: MARIO BAVA's The Whip And The Body (1963) / Hercules In The Haunted World (1961)


09/08/08: Death Rides A Horse (1967) / Battle Of The Damned (1969)


16/08/08: Superargo And The Faceless Giants (1968) / War Between The Planets (1966)


23/08/08: RICCARDO FREDA's The Horrible Dr Hitchcock (1962) / The Witch's Curse (1962)


30/08/08: Santo And The Blue Demon vs Dr Frankenstein (1974) / The Vampire's Coffin (1958)

06/09/08: The Turkish Superman (1979) / Primitives (1978)


13/09/08: The Killing Machine (1975) / Raw Force (1982)


20/09/08: The Creation Of The Humanoids (1962) / Mesa Of Lost Women (1953)

27/09/08: Time Of The Apes (1974) / No Blood No Surrender (1986)

SEASON TWO

08/11/09: Santo vs The Mummies Of Guanajuato (1972)


15/11/09: James Batman (Philippines, 1966)


22/11/09: Golden Eagle (Thailand, 1970)


29/11/09: The Turkish Santo & Captain America vs Spiderman (1973)

06/12/09: 666 Beware The End Is At Hand (2007)


13/12/09: Schlock Treatment's End Of Innocence - Classroom Scare Films 1950-1982


20/12/09: Silent Night Bloody Night (1973)


27/12/09: Boy God (1982)

03/01/10: Invasion Of The Bee Girls (1973)


10/01/10: Vengeance Of The Zombies (1973)


17/01/10 to 31/01/10: BEST OF SCHLOCK TREATMENT

SEASON THREE

16/05/10: The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971)


23/05/10: The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here (1972)


30/05/10: Darna vs The Planet Women (1975)

06/06/10: Kiss Kiss...Kill Kill (1966)


13/06/10: Santo In Operation 67 (1966)


20/06/10: Visible Agent 000 (Greece, 1967)


27/06/10: Kuwait Connection (Egypt, 1973)

04/07/10: How To Undress In Front Of Your Husband (1937) / Sinister Menace (1930) / Narcotic (1933)

11/07/10: The Face At The Window (1939)

18/07/10: Alice In Wonderland (1915) / The Sealed Room (1909) / The Student Of Prague (1913)

25/07/10: The Dybbuk (1937)

01/08/10: Wolf Devil Woman (1982)


08/08/10: Eyes Of The Condor (1984)


15/08/10: The Telugu Superman (1980)


22/08/10: Special Silencers (1979)


29/08/10: Alyas Batman En Robin (1991)

05/09/10: The Satanic Rites Of Dracula (1973)


12/09/10: They Came From Beyond Space (1966)


19/09/10: Sweeny Todd The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street (1936)


26/09/10: Psychomania (1973)

03/10/10: Santo And Blue Demon vs The Monsters (1969)


10/10/10: The Curse Of The Crying Woman (1963)


17/10/10: Batwoman (Mexico, 1967)


24/10/10: Puss 'n Boots (1961)


31/10/10: Horror Express (1972)

07/11/10: Child Bride (1938)


14/11/10: Magic Of The Universe (1986)


21/11/10: 666 The End Is At Hand 2 (2007)


28/11/10: The Lady Of The Black Moons (1971)

05/12/10: Return OfThe Evil Dead (1973)


12/12/10: Revenge Of The Zombies (1943) / Valley Of The Zombies (1946)


19/12/10: War Of The Zombies (1964)


26/12/10: Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny (1972)

SEASON FOUR

01/05/11: Titans Of The Ring (1973)


15/05/11: Gunmaster G9 In Surakksha (1979)


22/05/11: Arcana(1972)


29/05/11: Little Boy Blue, Tiny Terrestrial (1991)

SEASON FIVE (NEVER BROADCAST)

Avenging Warrior Woman 2 (Mexican Narco Action, 1991)

Commando (Hindi Ninjas, 1988)

End Of The Wicked (Nigerian Godsploitation, 1999)

Ghost Of Guts Eater (Thai Horror, 1973)



No comments: